Hospital Highlights

Sarah and I recently spent a lot of time in the hospital. I was there to keep her company and make sure she was getting the best care possible. She was there because she couldn't stop throwing up and had to have a constant stream of fluids via IV.

While at the hospital, I kept a notebook documenting what medications she was receiving and when, as well as her vital signs and various other details. It came in handy on more than one occasion. I also used it to jot down bits of overheard conversation and funny anecdotes. Since she's been home for more than a week (keeping food down, hooray!), I decided to look back over my notes. Among them:

* If one more person says we need to let the virus run its course, I'm going to punch someone.

* From the next bed over, where fiftysomething children comfort their paper-frail mother: "Mom, we're going to put you down," said gently, kindly (referring to the position of the bed).

* son to nurse: "She has a flap of skin on her lip. Do you have any scissors?"

* the woman in the next bed is watching a cartoon: "They have to have monsters in everything these days."

* One nurse has scrubs with multi-ethnic angels flying everywhere: "Happiness is being an angel." Appropriate?

* It's emesis, like "nemesis," not emesis, like "the Jesus."

* Sarah explains about a hypnobirthing-friendly hospital to a nurse. Nurse's response: "Really? Damn!"

* nurse to Sarah: "I'm going to get you some pillows. We're going to make you so comfortable, you're never going to want to throw up!"

* I noticed the TV in Sarah's room is labeled "Type B Equipment."

* Sarah had a dream about a hotel clubhouse with jacuzzi toilets you sat in and went. Then they drained and refilled and you could relax in them.